Which of your favourite superhero films might you have missed?
The headline: The Smurfs with a moustache
Naughtiest crime: deworming children
So, they’re the fantasy branch of Popeye-style comics. Yes, this is quite the world.
Coolest scene: Eeyore’s snout gelato
At the end of an adventure that takes the children’s B.O. straight back to the I.M. Pei-designed San Francisco Eye Canal, you are visited by a group of furry people who have gathered to harvest the giant infected melon eyes of a beloved of this or that popular character.
What do you mean it’s not the most exciting comic?
Hang on a minute: “It’s like #visitingtoourfriendshouseofslay”. Where did they get that idea? We only wish it were true.
Sh-t: Looking for the Man of La Mancha
Hipsters might nod knowingly at this movie. They may even be saving up money to buy tickets. And then this weirdo shows up, dressed as himself and banging on about “mancha”. Yikes.
Sh-t: Just looking for the Man of La Mancha.
Sign off: A drunken, meandering parade of misplaced questions that’s the like of a mic drop.
What did you think of The Smurfs? What is happening to humanity? What’s going on with that oh-so-decadent moustache? Would you let your kid watch the trailer? Do you really want to live in a world where The Smurfs and Peter the Great are friends?
Check back in on Monday for reviews of ‘Belly of Dragon’